love Archives - Simply Gathering Grace

Living with depression…A LESSON IN WILDFLOWERS AND GRACE

May 15, 2017 By Mikki Jo 4 Comments

I saw a small clump of lavender and pink in a ditch line. A rusted barbed wire fence was their backdrop. They were framed by a drive-by beer can and a faded McDonald’s cup. That scene taught me something that day.

WILDFLOWERS AND GRACE, oh my.

Those wildflowers held so much beauty. So much so, that the ugly around them kind of slinked into the background and the wildflowers were all I saw. Brilliant colors that only God could paint, and intricate blooms that only God could create. They had burst out of the ground and bloomed even with all the yuck they were surrounded by.

Depression, it’s real. It can be a lonely place. That’s why we have to seek out the beauty. It’s those things that bring us peace. Philippians 4:8 Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy– meditate on these things. (NKJV)

Depression no longer defines me but I do believe it’s the thorn in my side. Paul talks about the thorn in his side in 2 Corinthians. He’d asked three times for the Lord to take it from him. And Paul tells us what He said in 2 Corinthians 12:9 And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (NKJV)

I’ve learned that when I open my heart to Jesus and His grace I can easily coexist with the ugly stuff. He shows me the simple things that I used to take for granted. His grace leads me to a place of peace and He points out all the good stuff along the way. I can see a leaf floating down from the sky and my heart writes a poem before it reaches the ground. (rolling my eyes, because I can’t believe I just admitted that) Yes, I’m mushy like that. I love having coffee with Jesus and just listening to Him.

Go for a walk and enjoy a sunset. Learn a new hobbie. Help others in need. Seek out things of beauty in nature, God really does bring us peace through His creation.

Seek God in the midst of the heaviness. Some days are harder than others, but He gives us strength. 1 Chronicles 16:11 Seek the Lord and His strength; Seek His face evermore!
Always remember we have hope! Romans 5:3 And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope.
It won’t last forever! Psalms 30:5b Weeping may endure for a night, But joy comes in the morning.
Always praise Him. Psalm 86:12-13 I will praise You, Lord my God, with all my heart; I will glorify Your name forever. 13 For great is Your love toward me; You have delivered me from the depths, from the realm of the dead.

Depression. It keeps me leaning on Jesus. And His grace is sufficient.

I want to be like a wildflower and keep growing even among the ugly, so I’ll glory in my infirmities, in my depression, my craziness, and my quirkiness. For when I am weak, then I am strong. Because His GRACE is sufficient.

WHAT DOES KNITTING HAVE TO DO WITH JESUS?

February 23, 2016 By Mikki Jo 14 Comments

I am super excited about the new heel pattern I found for my hand knit socks! It’s much easier and quicker.

It involves using a shadow stitch and knitting them together as one. Without the shadow stitch being knit together with the original stitch there will be a gaping hole left in the heel. I found that out the hard way. The shadow stitch became the foundation and gave a secure join…no HOLES left behind. The shadow stitch with the original stitch makes one strong NEW stitch and one stitch without the other would not produce a sock heel. Both together, strengthened the other, and completed the original design. Genius pattern!

This scenario gave me a “Ohhhh….Hmmmm” moment. Yes, I do this on occasion. I think it’s pretty awesome how God speaks to us through the simplest of things.

The Holy Spirit dropped these scriptures into my heart.

Hebrews 10:1 (NIV) The law is only the shadow of the good things that are coming-not the realities themselves.

Colossians 2:17 (NIV) These are a shadow of the things that were to come; the reality, however, is found in Christ.

John 1:17 (NIV) For the law was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ.

I think sometimes we neglect the teachings of the Old Testament and toss them out as obsolete, old fashioned, or not needed because we have the New Testament now. Oh how wrong we are.

The Old Testament is a schoolmaster. Galatians 3:24 (KJV) Wherefore the law was our schoolmaster to bring us unto Christ, that we might be justified by faith.

The Old Testament is a sure foundation that the New Testament was built upon. It tells of the coming of the Messiah, and of His death on the cross. Jesus taught using scriptures from the Old Testament. One without the other is incomplete. But both of them together, the Old with the New, is the greatest love story ever told. (Ephesians 2:19-20)

Jesus came to fulfill the scriptures. He is our new covenant.

Below is a photo my brother took. His and his brides wedding rings with one placed inside the other rest in the center of the Bible. Both together make a heart-shaped shadow. Very symbolic. With the word of God being their foundation their lives are joined together and make one heart.

I have an old valentine candy box full of love letters that my Grandparents wrote each other. A shadow of the love that was yet to come. A beautiful love story of good times but hard times that would be passed to many more generations. I am thankful.

I’m reminded of my Grandma and one of our conversations. She was telling me the best way to do something and I said, “Grandma you’re just old-fashioned.” She smiled and said, “Sometimes the old ways are the best ways.” I’m sure I rolled my young eyes at the time but not where she could see me of course, but I hear the wisdom in that simple statement today.

After all, if it weren’t for the old the new would never exist.

Thank you Lord for the gift of salvation.

WHEN TWO HANDS ARE BETTER THAN ONE

January 29, 2016 By Mikki Jo 5 Comments

I glanced over at my son and my niece during Sunday morning worship and what they were doing made my heart skip a beat.

After a horrific car crash my niece escaped with her life and a broken arm, a very significant break, but it could have been so much worse. God indeed had angels encamped round about her. We are so thankful she is going to be okay.

During worship as everyone began clapping hands, my niece Hannah only had one hand with her other in a cast. I glanced over and they each held one hand out and together they clapped their hands in worship. It reminded me of the scripture in Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 (NIV) Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.

Oh how many times I’ve fallen and needed help getting up. And no, I don’t wear a medic alert necklace although that may be a good idea.

My family is very close. We’ll feed each other, help wash the other’s hair as in my niece’s case right now, make each other laugh, and pray for each other. But mostly we’re just there for each other. Even if we sit and don’t speak, we’re there, present, helping each other up when we fall down.

Sometimes we give space, sometimes we invade space, according to our need at the time. Above all, we love one another. Galatians 6:2 (NIV) Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.

Even as much as we love someone we can still fail them at times. But God will never fail us. Deuteronomy 31:8 (NIV) The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.

We have a burden bearer and His name is Jesus. When we are overwhelmed we can go to the one who is greater than our circumstances. We need only to call on Him and He will meet us right where we are. Psalm 46:1 (NIV) God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.

Thank you Lord for the gift of salvation, thank you for bearing our burdens!

Psalm 68:19 (NIV) Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens.

EVEN IN TRAGEDY THERE IS COMFORT

November 30, 2015 By Mikki Jo 7 Comments

The phone rang, it was one of those calls. The one to tell you that someone you love has passed away. I was sure I heard the name wrong, this can’t be true. He was too young, it’s impossible. You ask again, saying the name out loud, to make sure you heard them correctly.

Yes.

It was him, he’s gone.

At first I sat there in shock, then I cried, then I got angry. I cried again. Then I began to pray for his family.

I never questioned God, because I know His plan is perfect. I know His ways are higher than my ways, His thoughts are greater than my thoughts. He wants even better than I do for those I love. Because you see, He loves them even more than I do. Isaiah 55:9 (NIV) As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.

How do we make it through such a tragic loss?

1 By trusting in Him. Psalm 9:10 (NIV) Those who know your name trust in you, for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you.

2 By holding tightly to Him. Psalm 63:8 (NIV) I cling to you; your right hand upholds me.

3 By allowing Him to comfort us. Matthew 5:4 (NIV) Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.

Remind ourselves of the beautiful hope for the future. Revelation 21:4 (NIV) He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.

We can’t allow ourselves to refuse the comfort of God. Let’s run to Him with our broken hearts and He will be waiting. When our pain is too much to bear He will rescue us. Psalm 34:18 (NIV) The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

A MOTHER’S LOVE

November 7, 2015 By Mikki Jo 9 Comments

Today I attended my niece’s wedding. It was beautiful. As I looked at her beautiful face and I saw the strand of pearls she wore that belonged to my precious Mom I smiled. They were perfect. They were a special Christmas gift to my Mom from me and my siblings. She asked that we keep them before she passed away so all the girls could wear them on their wedding day. I missed her today. But her love was felt by all of us. Grandma is proud Cassidy Jo.

A Mother’s love is draped over her child as a covering of protection and strength. Tucked in tightly here and there to leave nothing exposed. The mind, to safeguard against ungodly things. The feet, to strengthen the long journey ahead. The hands, to prepare for a life’s work. The heart, to soften for the acceptance of love.

The covering of love has been anointed by the Holy Spirit. It’s been given the wisdom of God. It knows when to un-tuck a corner, and when to tuck another corner in even more tightly. A Mother’s love is not perfect. But it’s pure and loyal and beautiful.

The day comes when that Mother shall take her last breath. She is gone now. Where is the covering of love? Is it also gone? Oh no, it will never leave. This is when the mantle of love reaches it’s maturity. It comes full circle now. That love shall cradle the child, bringing strength and comfort. A Mother’s love spans all generations, and death has no hold on it. A Mother’s love, it is miraculous. It’s passed from generation to generation.

WHEN THE LIES MAKE YOU WANT TO QUIT

November 5, 2015 By Mikki Jo 21 Comments

It was picture day and I sent my child to school in a shirt that perfectly matched the pale blue background he sat in front of. When the cameraman said, “Say cheese,” I’m shocked he never said, “Where’d you go kid?”

The garbage man drove by. I’m sure he shook his head, again, as he saw the 12 bags of trash sitting on my porch that never made it to the dumpster.

I never made it to Grandparent’s Day at school, I was having an “I don’t like old people” day. But how do you explain depression and anxiety issues to a 6 year old?

These are a few things that cause me to hear that voice that says…

You’re not good enough, you’ll never be good enough.

Give up, you’re never going to change.

God has no use for people like you.

You’re a loser with a capital L.

Okay, so I’m not perfect. Actually I’m far from perfect. Those first 3 paragraphs are only a short list of my best messups! I may list a few of my worst ones later on down the road, but that’s for another time.

What I’ve learned is, we don’t have to be perfect for God to use us. We don’t have to be Mom of the Year to be able to encourage someone. We don’t have to be happy happy happy, to offer someone a smile. We just need to strive to be more like Jesus.

I struggle with depression and anxiety, I’m forgetful, I’m impatient, please don’t make me go on. How about you? Does the enemy fill your head with lies? In yesterday’s post we talked about fear. When the enemy corrupts our thinking with lies, like fear, this too is a stronghold. Saying you’re not good enough, is satan’s favorite bluff.

Know who you are in Christ. Reject anything that goes against the Word of God. Don’t be bound by lies but bind the lies with God’s truth! When he calls us “loser”, remember he is the accuser. Revelation 12:10b For the accuser of our brothers and sisters, who accuses them before our God day and night, has been hurled down.

And he is the father of lies. John 8:44c When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies.

The thing is, I have learned that lies from satan are just that. Lies. When we have accepted Christ as our personal Lord and Savior who does God say that we are?

1 A child of God

John 1:12 Yet to all who did receive Him, to those who believed in His name, He gave the right to become children of God —

2 I am His friend

John 15:14 You are my friends if you do what I command.

3 I am blessed

Ephesians 1:3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ.

4 I am forgiven

Ephesians 1:7 In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace.

5 I am a citizen of heaven

Philippians 3:20 But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ.

6 He chose me

1 Thessalonians 1:4 For we know, brothers and sisters loved by God, that He has chosen you,

When we have those bad days, and we will have those bad days, run to Jesus and pray like your hair is on fire, for yourself and each other. The bible calls it, “praying fervently.” Now that we know who we are in Christ, let’s grow together and encourage one another in our “not so perfect” lives. Praying one for another. James 5:16 (KJV) Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.

BETTER THAN PASTEL SKIES AND APPLE PIE

October 22, 2015 By Mikki Jo 8 Comments

The last dish is put away and I join the rest of the family on the porch. There’s a slight chill in the air on this fall evening and the conversation is, “That apple pie was delicious!” And everyone is in agreement.

I smile.

Everyone has a full belly and just enjoying each others company. Family, food, love. Peace and contentment fills the atmosphere as we watch the lazy pastel sky. Cotton candy sky is what my sister Jenni calls it. A beautiful sunset, family, and apple pie. Ahhh, what could be better than this?

I wish I could take this sweet time of contentment and can it like apple pie filling and put it on a shelf, so I can pull it back down when I need it. Life can become so crazy and overwhelming. Chaos always seems to plop down right in the middle of my tenderest moments.

I don’t like chaos. I don’t like change. I don’t like surprises, sometimes I don’t even like good surprises.

I like unchanging, same, stable, settled.

I equate insecurity with change, fear with surprise, irritation with interruption.

As long as we live there will be seasons of change, and surprises. Life is as ever-changing as the pastel skies. God wants us to seek His plan during change. We tend to make plans and forget to consider His plans. Proverbs 19:21 Many are the plans in a persons heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails.

We see interruptions as an inconvenience and sometimes even blame it on satan. (Yes the s in satan is supposed to be capitalized, but I have always refused to give him a capital s.) The truth is, the best of plans maybe edited by God for any number of reasons. It may be for our protection, for our spiritual growth or a need for ourselves or someone else.

Isaiah 26:3 You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you. There’s that word TRUST again, I spoke of trust in the last devotion. Keep our mind upon Him and trust Him, and He will keep us in perfect peace. I love that! In the middle of the CHAOS that got plopped down in my lap I can have perfect peace? Yessss, that’s what I want! Perfect peace IS contentment.

Let a contented spirit be the contentment we seek. This world will never give us the contentment our heart hungers for. Jesus Christ is the only one who can fill that void. Prayer and daily reading of His word will help us to walk closer with Him. 1 Timothy 6:6 But godliness with contentment is great gain.

We can remain content no matter our circumstances when we cling to the fact that Jesus never changes. Hebrews 13:8 Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.

How about you, don’t you want that? I think we all do. Let’s choose to trust Him with our life, our changes, our chaos and our fears. Lord keep our minds steadfast, that we may learn to trust you more and live in the perfect peace that you speak of. Perfect peace and contentment, nothing is better than that.

WHEN BROKENNESS TURNS TO HOPEFULNESS

October 21, 2015 By Mikki Jo 8 Comments

Have you ever been accused of being drunk? In the Bible Hannah was. She was in such anguish she poured her heart out to God and Eli the priest assumed she was drunk. She wanted a son and prayed for years for the Lord to give her one.

Her husband’s other wife made fun of her because she was childless and she herself had many children. I’ve met some catty women in my day. It’s hard enough being heartbroken and then to have someone rub salt in the wound hurts even more. (Catty women need prayer too.)

God saw Hannah’s brokenness, and He answered her prayer and gave her a son. She named him Samuel. What a beautiful story of God’s love and mercy in 1 Samuel Chapters 1 and 2.

Whatever our situation is, for whatever reason we are distressed and broken, God has the answer.

A broken heart that comes to God with complete trust will be healed. If we trust Him with our eternity we can definitely trust Him with our heart. Sometimes we have to be broken before we learn to fully trust Him. Sometimes we have to be broken for Him to use us to minister to others that are broken.

One of my favorite things, (did I just sound like Oprah?) is an old sugar bowl that belonged to my Grandma. Once while I was in Kentucky me and my sister and Mom stopped at an old flea market. I looked on a shelf up high and there was a teacup that matched my Grandma’s sugar bowl. It was cracked, and had a huge chip out of the rim. But I didn’t care, I took that little teacup home with me.

I love my cup with it’s big crack and huge chip, and I don’t even notice them. I enjoy drinking my tea from this cup. I’m surprised it don’t leak with such a huge crack. But as I said, I love my sweet cup and I think it’s beautiful.

I know with every fiber of my being that God loves us, with all of our brokenness and cracks and chips. He loves us. He wants to mend our broken hearts.

In Him we have hope, eternal hope is the anchor of our soul. Hebrews 6:19 We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. It enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtain, 20a Where our forerunner, Jesus, has entered on our behalf

Is your heart broken, is your spirit crushed? The only one with the answer is Jesus. He brings us victory in our distress. Psalm 34:18 The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

He tends to our wounded heart. He heals us. Psalm 147:3 He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.

In all of our brokenness we can come to Him. If we are willing He is more than able. He’s waiting now. Pour out your heart to Him like Hannah did. Don’t let your circumstances allow you to remain broken, place your hope in Jesus.

Give it to God; all of it. And let Him heal you and make you whole.

p.s. I wrote a short poem about my little teacup. You can click on the highlighted word to go there now.

IN THE LORD’S BOSOM

September 25, 2015 By Mikki Jo 12 Comments

The road was winding and dusty, my heart was beating faster. I was about to drive down the narrow road that my Daddy used to walk down when he was a child living at the end of the “holler”, up a little creek, in the shelter of an Eastern Kentucky mountain.

My eyes couldn’t take it all in fast enough. I felt the tears stinging my eyes as I blinked them back, I didn’t want to miss a single moment. I felt I had finally come full circle. I was finally here, where my heart had desired to be since I was a child. The place where I’d heard my Daddy and Grandparents speak of all my life, their old Kentucky home. I never understood my longing for this place, until my feet stood in the lush green clover on the bank of Frozen Creek in Knott County.

My heart was content. I was home. I knew that this is where I was supposed to be. God had indeed marked this date in time for me to be standing exactly where I stood. I looked at the mountains surrounding me, I felt a security that I’d never experienced before. I explained to my Dad how I felt and he said, “Yes honey, I know that feeling. Like you’re cradled in the Lord’s bosom.” And yes, that’s exactly how I felt.

I’d never been here before, but yet I felt like I had left something here, and I had this day came back to reclaim it. These emotions came from the deep bond I have with my Dad, and my family roots that remain deep in the heart of these mountains.

Many years ago, my Grandparents took the great Ship Mary and Ann from England to the Jamestown River to escape religious persecution. Years later a young man was born. A brave warrior, a man of honor who helped to attain my freedom during the Revolutionary War. He met a young dark haired woman, kind and patient and strong. They fell in love, had their own children, and eventually made their home in these beloved mountains.

The more I have learned of my family and their past, the more I have learned about myself and who I am. And I am thankful for the sacrifices made. I can never repay the debt that I owe to those that went before me. But I have walked in the shadow of their precious footsteps, down a dusty winding road, that lovingly led me back home. Truly, home is where the heart is.